AN ARTICLE ON
WHAT IS AND WHAT IS NOT PROPER PARENTING
When you have a baby, the baby is indeed helpless you as the parent/parents need to do everything for that child, until he/she can start doing things on his/her own, walking, talking etc.
What some parents ought to know is that parenting is not just having a child and just knowing you are the mother or father and nothing doing what a real parent should be doing. In other words some parent thinks that letting the child/children have their own way without properly monitoring them they are going to gain that child. This kind of thinking is absolutely absurd and can lead into major difficulties for you and that child as he/she grows older.
Always remember that you are the parent and if the both parents are around that there should only be one man/woman in that house until that child reaches the full age of adulthood. Children are very smart I would say that as soon as a child is born their senses are well in tack as long as, it’s a normal child. In some cases it takes a longer time to develop in some people.
From the time a child get enough sense as small as they are when they do wrong we need to correct them. If it’s a baby or a toddler you deal with them according to their ages. You won’t slap a baby as if it’s a seven year old, but whatever measure you take to put that child in order let your message be sent across.
Never beat a child without letting them know what they are getting the whipping for. I must mention that there are other techniques other than using the rod. Punishments seems to work a lot, e.g. take away something they cherish very much, ground them or try talking and see if it would resolve the situation .
As small as that child may be his/her brain already sends a message to let them know daddy/granny/aunty don’t correct me when I do such and such. If when that chid is around the mother knowing that when he does something out of the way, mummy would be very quick to correct, he/she would seldom do it around her.
Each parent little motto should be: Spare not the rod and spoil the child
When children are spoiled you breed what I’d call 100% brats. Some people thinks that it works that everything a child asks for you give them. You have to let your children know that everything in this world don’t come easily. If on the other hand you do vice versa that very same child that you think will love you very much for the manner in which you deal with him/her. It would back fire on you someday believe it or not, you would be embarrassed when you take them to town/city and you don’t have money to purchase that extra toy, etc.
I have seen it over and over where children literally starts to scream and bawl throw themselves on the ground yelling and kicking up, “I want that toy”. Parents stand amazed in awe! Not knowing what to do to bring this child back to his/her composure.
As parents you all love your children and would do almost anything to keep them out of harms way; you sometimes would rather die in that child’s place. Although love compromises sometimes you ought to know your limit, and that is you are in charge. Don’t let that child rule you especially when they abide under your roof. Let them know their places and that you all weren’t delivered around the same time in the hospital, or changed diapers together. Children respond to what they see and hear, if you gave them their own way always that’s what they’ll want forever. If perhaps someday you don’t give them their own way, some will say all sought of demeaning things to you, might even kill you. So stop it right now get a back bone put away the wish bone be men and women in your homes.
If an egg is rotten and you still cook it, it will still be rotten when it’s finish cooking. Just the same with a child rotten once, then rotten for life. They may live to be 90 years and still want everyone to give them their way all the time.
Parents you ought to learn that LOVE is not being goody good all the time. You have to correct your children when they do wrong, spank them when they need it, there is a time for everything. Remember that chastening drives foolishness far away.
Most of you modern day parents I am almost 85% positive you weren’t brought up that way .Oh how we need those all fashion days. When you speak to your child and he or she speaks back to you rudely, don’t just sit there and let them go on. Turn back that curtain of memory and see what your parent would have done to you if you had answered back, whatever you see and it did help you to stop being rude, then try it on your child as long as it isn’t violence.
Today when we look around children curse their parents, beat them, kill and some are now raping what have this world come to? Then just ask yourself why? Who? What? How? and When? Most of the time the parents are to be blamed. Grow up a child in the way you want it to be and they shall never depart from it. If you do wrong things in front your child/ children, they wouldn’t have respect for you. Therefore if you try to correct them you would get back words that can make your heart want to give up.
Some children get to hate you when they grow older and say to themselves if mummy and daddy had corrected me when I did wrong. I wouldn’t be in this situation today, all what you did to gain your child’s love when down the river.
As I am on this topic I must mention that the not beating children law United States of America have is totally intolerant. That’s why they do what they want, go and come when they feel like it, get involved in drugs, prostitution, lesbianism, homosexuality etc. A child needs someone to show them the right part and when a parent could hardly speak to their own child, before the child hit the parent or starts shouting at them and running to call the cops for everything.
When you hear or see these things going wrong etc. Don’t let it tingle your toes and ears. Change those foolish laws and things may fall into its right perspective.
Children need to feel appreciate and loved by their parents and loved one. Always make time for your family, carry them out, and teach them to pray and learn manners, how to be grateful for what they have, show them how to do things, how to behave themselves at home and out.
Mothers you are your child/children role model I only mean in the right way. When the father is away from home, you have to take up his role sometimes. Never let your children pressure you to the point where you say “you see you I can’t handle you”. When you do that they would take advantage of you.
Let them know that when your friends come over that it’s not their friends and they need to get lost. Not sticking around and poking their mouths and heads into big people business.
Also mothers if it’s possible where you can survive being a house wife. Try you best; I know it maybe hard depending on the society we live in where everybody wants to be independent. Think about it this way that giving up one thing for another and that is a well grounded child. That would always love and appreciate you.
For all your patience, love kindness and nurturing you gave to them. When they most needed it, and if ever a child needs you is from day one and especially when they reaches adolescence. Telling them about how to try and be prepared for the life ahead. Let your girls know about their monthlies etc. Where they are confused and don’t understand the changes they are going through. The taught that runs through their mind e.g. thinking about boys/girls whereas they never had time for that before.
That’s the time they need someone to reach out to them to let them know you went through it and they can make it to. Teach them about life and what it entails. They may want to ask you questions that you never expected they would.
If you don’t know or feels embarrass about it find a nice way in telling them. Don’t leave it up to them to find out, they could go asking the wrong person and there are lots of Sharks just waiting to devour their prey. Before you know it you child is gone.
Know who are your children’s friends, check out the places they go and what they do. Just don’t sit back and believe everything they tell you, e.g. they going to the mall and when you know wake up you realise that he/she has been going to the wrong places.
Another thing is that parents also need to know there limit. You have to learn that when children get older you can’t speak to them as if they are still small, e.g. If you have a 30 year old married son and you still want to send him on errands etc in a demanding approach. They may do it but look at you as taking away their manhood/womanhood and belittling them. A next e.g. is remembered as they get older they would start wanting to be independent; you have to give some slack.
Trust them, that don’t mean you’d just stop being a parent. Never believe everything your child says, if you get a complain investigate. We were all born liars, so don’t put it far from them, don’t let the little angelic face fool you. Children do the most outrageous things behind their parents back. Then hide behind your sympathy and affection for them.
If you want respect show some to them, can’t treat them any how and expect them to respond to you nicely. Think about when you were there age how you were and then your thinking and understanding would change if it hasn’t, you should always try to be your children’s best friend.
Also when you are wrong acknowledge it and humble yourself, don’t feel that you are too big. We are all human beings so we’ll make mistakes.
So parents grab a hold of yourselves and stop drifting, and we would have better children in this world. If you are not doing any of the right things I said above. Then you are not fit to be a parent.
Done by: Abigail Chandler
Date: March 19th, 2009
From: Trinidad, West Indies
Archive for the ‘Parenting’ Category
What Is And What Is Not Proper Parenting
Tuesday, August 31st, 2010Parent’s Involvement in Children’s Education
Wednesday, August 11th, 2010ABSTRACT
The importance of parental involvement as an accelerating and motivating factor in their childrenâ??s education is a worldwide-accepted fact. This research project provides an in depth explanation along with specific reasons, the importance of parentsâ?? involvement in their childrenâ??s education. It also discusses the parenting techniques, their types and their consequences if neglected. It also describes the ways to measure the outcome of the positive parental involvement. Furthermore, it mentions the teachers involvement and the difficulties faced by the teachers in getting parents involved in their childrenâ??s (this is further supported by the examples of two teachers who with their deliberate efforts won the parents over to devote their maximum attention towards their children), single-parent involvement, childrenâ??s own efforts to improve their academic levels and joint home-school based interventions. A detailed analysis of the different main ideas is given, based on the findings from other research surveys and projects.
INTRODUCTION:
Parental involvement can be seen to fall into three types: 1) Behavioral, 2) Intellectual and 3) Personal. The research explores the effect of multi-dimensional participation of parents and the resulting progress of children in their studies when different parental resources were dedicated to them. Actively participating parents help their children in their academic development by going to schools and participating in open houses. By keenly observing the behavior of their children they can rightly judge the kind of behavior or the allocation of resources required by their children. Such caring parents can also motivate teachers to become more attentive towards a particular student, thus maintaining the cycle of parent-teacher involvement. Encourage Building up cognitive and perception abilities in a child are a major concern in the upbringing of the child. The way the parents involve their children in cognitive learning is by exposing them to different cognitively stimulating activities and materials such as books, electronic media and current events at home. This helps the child to practice all sorts of language comprehending skills at the school. The results show a remarkably positive behavior at the school and with peers.
Two parenting processes namely the Supportive Parenting (SP) and Harsh Parenting (HP) helped a lot in the research of parental involvement in their childrenâ??s education. By adjusting the levels of supportive parenting, different levels of successful outcomes were observed. Supportive parenting in even kindergarten students yielded positive results. Four measures of supportive parenting were used in the study, they were:
1. Proactive teaching.
2. Calm discussion in disciplinary encounters.
3. Warmth.
4. Interest and involvement in peer activities.
The assessments were conducted when children entered kindergarten and when they reached grade 6. There was a factor noted to hinder childrenâ??s development: family adversity. It was the result of a multipurpose negative process that included the risk of low socio-economic status, single-parenting and family stress. Child maladjustments were found to be more common in families with such adversities. No matter how much negative impacts were cast, SP was found to overcome the risks associated with family adversity. SP was strongly related to adjustment procedures in grade 6 children who had single parent family or experienced low socio-economic status (SES) in their early childhood.
In a way to socialize their children, parents adopted the techniques of calm discussion and proactive teaching. They helped lessen the behavioral problems by carrying long discussions with their children, cultivating in them a sense of respect, calmness and peace of mind. Mothers also participated actively in reducing the peer stress among their children. It is also a widely accepted fact that supportive parenting plays an important role in the childrenâ??s development of empathy, prosocial behavior and emotional competence. On the negative side, the absence of supportive parenting may be related to the development of internal problems such as anxiety and depression.
Lack of the necessary parental care and attention is the main factor for the subsequent rise in the percentage of juvenile delinquency (crime among children). The absence of parental instructions causes children to develop irreversible behavioral and emotional problems. They in order to seek attention, resort to crimes thinking that in this way they could fulfill their wishes. They may revert to uncontrolled violence if not kept an eye upon. Such criminal activities cannot be brought to a halt until their distressing symptoms of low self-esteem, depression, dysphonic mood, tension and worries, and other disturbances are relieved. And the importance of parentsâ?? role in this regard cannot be over-emphasized.
In an effort to describe parental involvement, many researchers use a term â??Transitionâ?(Lombardi, Joan). â??Transitionâ? is used to describe the time period in which children move from home to school, from school to after school activities, from one activity to another within a pre-school, or from pre-school to kindergarten. The untiring endeavors of teachers in the phenomenon of transition cannot be ignored. They prepared the children and their parents to face the problems of adjusting to elementary school programs that had different psychology, teaching styles and structure than the programs offered at the kindergarten level. In the elementary level schools the teachers had to face serious challenges in motivating the parents to take interest in their childrenâ??s activities. The teachers adopted different methods to involve the parents in day-to-day classroom and home activities. They used to send notes, invitation of parent-teacher meetings, invitation of parental guidance sessions and training sessions, continuously directing the parentâ??s attention towards their children. Patricia Brown Clark suggests that it is very important to keep the line of communication between teachers and parents open, so that the parents can interact with the teachers and get up to date information of their childrenâ??s school activities. One way to involve parents is to schedule school events and arranging classroom activities such as volunteering for libraries, acting as classroom aides or efficiently organizing lunch breaks. The teachers also opt for making phone calls at the childrenâ??s houses to keep in touch with the parents and getting to know the extent to which they are contributing towards the welfare of their children. Apart from the above activities, the teachers also assign home activities for both the parents and their children so that the parents remain indulged in their children and the children get to study at home. However, it was a bad and disappointing experience for the teachers when many of the parents failed to respond as expected. Many of the parents were so overwhelmed with their official work that they could hardly take out some time for their beloved children.
Moreover, for some parents their schoolings were not positive and character-boosting experiences, therefore they preferred to keep a distance from their childrenâ??s school as well. This made it really difficult and at times impossible for teachers to bring the parental involvement to the desired level. Nevertheless, the activities of two teachers proved greatly fruitful in making parents involved in their children. They were Carlos Valdez, an art teacher and 8th grade class sponsor, and Mike Hogan, the schoolâ??s band director. They did it by involving parents in music festivals and other school ceremonies. They proved to be great examples for the future teachers to come.
If the childrenâ??s academic development programs are to prove successful they must share two characteristics:
1) Developmentally appropriate practice:
A childâ??s academic progress is clearly reflected by the appropriate practice he/she administers while in school life. During transitions from pre-school to kindergarten, a child if given the exact developmentally appropriate practice tends to learn a great deal of language and playing skills. He develops a keen interest in exploring his environments and interacting (without hesitation) with his adults.
2) Supportive services:
These include the assistance that the school provides to low-income family students. The services include health care, childcare and community care. This strengthens the relation between school and children and creates a sense of security and confidence among the children. They get to learn that their communities are a part of their school since the schoolâ??s supportive services strive to help community development.
It is commonly believed that children are good self-teachers. Their self-initiated strategies help improve their expression, creativity, intellectual capabilities and extra-curricular skills. This idea is proved by the documentation of young childrenâ??s work provided by Reggio Emilia :
â??The Reggio Emilia educators highlight young childrenâ??s amazing capabilities and indicate that it is through the unity of thinking and feeling that young children can explore their world, represent their ideas, and communicate with others at their highest level.â?(Edwards, Pope. C, Springate, Wright.K)
The climax rests in the fact that how the parents would know that their sincere involvements are really proving worthwhile for their children. The answer lies in the attitude of the children. The degree of parental involvement can be judged by a childâ??s attitude towards his school subjects, his academic desires and achievements. There is a direct relationship between academic achievements and the attitude towards school. Schunk in 1981 had the following idea of aspiration or academic desires:
â??Level of aspiration is defined as oneâ??s subjective probability that he or she will reach a certain level of education.â?(Abu, H. & Maher, M)
As a result children who received adequate parental concern were found to be much more confident in their academic desires and achievements than those who could not get the right amount of parental concern. The individual involvement of mothers and fathers also plays a vital role in the behavioral development of a child. Students from one-parent household were observed to show less positive attitude towards schools and studies as compared to students from two-parent households. One study aimed at investigating parental concern showed that despite mothersâ?? sincere endeavors, the role of fathers could not be ignored and both served as an important foundation for the future progress of the child. This can be proved from the following fact:
According to a recent report from the National Center for Educational Statistics (1997), compared to their counterparts, children with involved fathers are more likely to have participated in educational activities with their parents (e.g., to have visited a museum or a historical site with their parents in the past month), and are more likely to have access to multiple types of resources at home as well (as measured by the proportion of parents who belong to community or professional organizations, or regularly volunteer in the community). (Flouri, E. And Buchanan, A, Pg.142)
Also, the parental involvement has been discussed and implemented in terms of interventions or prevention programs, which are nothing but safety measures taken to assure healthy and perfect upbringing of the child. The study uses school-based and home-only intervention programs to find out the extent of intellectual capabilities found in children from different family backgrounds. The success of one school-based interventions can be proved from the following fact, which was a part of â??Education Service Improvement Plan 2001-2005â? of Edinburgh:
—-The Scottish Executive Discipline Task Force, which studied the causes of poor behavior among pupils in schools produced a report of ‘Better Behavior – Better Learning’ in June 2001. The report included 36 recommendations for action, which were then turned into an Action Plan in 2002. Many of these have implications for the Education Authority. (Craig Millar Instep Project)
Parenting – 10 Things That Will Improve Family Life
Thursday, August 5th, 201010 parenting tips that all parents should implement every day to improve their family’s life and make it easier.Parenting tip 1
Good parenting is remembering to tell your child you love them and not stopping – even when they so tall that they can look down on you. Do this regardless of how they behave because although you may not like his behavior you do love him. Parenting tip 2
Speak words of affirmation to your child each day and as soon as they are old enough encourage them to speak these out to themselves. This will help you raise a more positive child which improves family life. Parenting tip 3
Improve your parenting skills be encourage your child’s independence and tell him what he can do it, rather than what he can’t do. It can often seem quicker to do things for your child but instead leave enough so you child can learn and become more independent Parenting tip 4
Spend time listening and talking to each child individually, this is the greatest investment you can make in your child’s life. It’s the best way to show them that you love themParenting tip 5
Tell you child what you want them to do not what you don’t want them to do. Using this positive parenting method is much more effect and gets the desired results much quicker. Parents if you don’t want your child to leave their clothes on the floor then say ” Please hang your clothes up” instead of “don’t leave your clothes on the floor.” Parenting tip 6
Give yourself the space to make mistakes you will never be the perfect parent they don’t really exist. You will make mistakes, don’t worry, forgive yourself and learn. Parenting tip 7
This is parenting advice. Do at least one fun or relaxing thing every day for yourself, this will help to keep you sane and give you a more enjoyable day. Parenting tip 8
Set up situations daily that will allow your child to make choices, this helps him develop independence and can save you both many arguments. Children as young as 18 months can be given an opportunity to choose.Parenting tip 9
Keep your boundaries and discipline strategies consistent even if you’re tired. A quick fix today often leads to more problems in the future. Parenting tip 10
Keep in mind that your child will learn more by example than by what you say so set your child the best examples possible in everything. Don’t just read these parenting tips put them into practice. Good parenting involves action.